2.15.2013

Why?

(This is a post I wrote last year at this same time of year....it's old, but still relevent. Please don't judge me for speaking my mind.)
        Lately my mind has turned to the friends I have lost in the past couple of years. This feeling is hard to describe so humor me for just a moment. I am mad at them for not trying to work things out with me so that we can be friends. I think it's dumb that they avoid me blatantly. I understand if they don't want to hang out with me and things like that, but the fact that when we walk by each other or I call or text them, and they ignore it, that's dumb. I have other mutual friends with these people and they are able to text or call them and get an answer! Is there something wrong with me? Did I do something wrong?
      With one of these people who will remain nameless I didn't do anything wrong. So, why is this happening? How could we be best friends for so many years and then they go and drop of the face of the earth? There are times when we are going to come in contact (I hope) that may be the first time we've seen each other in four. With the other friend I am referring to has a problem with me because of something I did. In this case I would understand the initial discomfort if we were to go to lunch together or something, but we never see each other, besides the occasional pass on campus. Is it too much to for them to say hi, to acknowledge that I am there. I would say hi to them, if I didn't know they were trying to avoid me. I get that.         
        Everyone in the world has at least one person they avoid for one reason or another. It's sad, but true!  I respect that to a point, but if I make an effort to be nice, why can't they be nice as well? I'm trying to be the bigger person here, but they are making it very difficult! I don't know if this is making any sense, and yes I am aware that my view of this problem is biased and only my perspective, without the other sides of the stories.
        But isn't a blog a place we can write these things. These are my thoughts right now, ones that I can't get out of my mind until I write them down. Since I am not at home today, my physical journal is not here, so I am writing it on my electronic version; my visual journal. I hate being shut off and I think that most of you would agree with me. If you don't understand what happened, and left hanging in terms of what changed that the other person deems unforgivable, you are always left wanting. Waiting for the answers. For an understanding of the problem you didn't know was there. Seeing one side of the problem solves nothing. You need both sides to make a whole; whether it's broken or okay all the pieces will fit together.

Swan Princess EPIPHANY!

    Who knew that the movie Swan Princess had so many parallels to so many Disney princess movies. Here are just a few of the parallels I found during my most recent viewing of this fabulous movie!

Beauty and the Beast

Like the Beast, Rothbart asks Odette to marry him every night after she transforms back into a human. This daily request for marriage comes from the Grimm's Fairy Tale version of Beauty and the Beast.

Cinderella

Like with Prince Charming, Prince Derek has to choose his bride at a ball where all the eligible princesses will be in attendance - oh and the one he chooses is again a woman disguised as the one he truly loves.

Sleeping Beauty

Derek and Odette, like Phillip and Aurora, are betrothed. Then there is the dancing scene during the song
Far Longer Than Forever where they are dancing in clouds of various shades of pink. Then, like Maleficent in Sleeping Beauty, Rothbart turns into the beast/dragon at the end and is slain by the prince.

Princess and the Frog

Like Navin, Jean Bob is a French prince who has been turned into a frog, but in this movie Odette is turned into a swan, instead of a frog

The Little Mermaid

Like Ursula, Rothbart has creates an impersonation of Odette to send to the ball, and casts a spell to trick Derek into marrying her instead of the real Odette

And for my two favorite songs from this movie click the links below: I couldn't find a decent clip of This is My Idea, but here is the track.
Far Longer than Forever
This is My Idea

Oh, Happy Day!

(This is another older post that I never posted. I think this was written after a really good date - I obviously had a really good time... haha)
       Can I really be this happy? I feel like my insides are about to jump out of my body - I don't think I can contain it! I feel like all the happiness I can muster, but yet contain, is about to burst out of me! I want to scream, laugh, AND cry! I want to jump in the air, yell, punch something, and hug everyone! Is it crazy that I can be so happy?! I feel like I am flying, and like I could run for miles! I can't believe the wonderful picture of the future my mind is fabricating! All I want to do it smile and burst into uncontrollable laughter! I try to stop myself, but I can't! All I can see is good in my future! I cannot fail if I plan to win!
     

Being Alone Is Not So Bad

       I haven't posted anything for a couple months now because I keep getting great ideas for posts, but I don't have the time to write a decent blog post about them. So, here are some older ones I found in my drafts - It's funny that I wrote this two months ago, but I still feel the same way and I needed to hear my own advice.
      The other day I was glancing over my facebook home wall and I saw this quote, "I think it's healthy to spend time alone. You need to know how to be alone and not be defined by another person" by Oscar Wilde.
For some time now I have wondered why I am still single. I look in the mirror and think, I am beautiful. I mean, there are many more people out there who may be prettier, but I am beautiful. I just need someone who can see that. Lately I have also come to terms with the fact that I don't need to try to impress - well, okay; I am trying to come to terms with that. Sometimes I find myself dressing up when it doesn't matter, but if it makes me feel good and comfortable, why not? I heard somewhere that the time you spend on yourself in the morning, deciding what to wear and doing your hair, are all about you. but the minute you walk out the door, it's all about everyone else. So I try not to look in the mirror or fuss over my outfit too much while I am out during the day.
       People say that becoming comfortable in your own skin is something all teenagers struggle with, but I believe it is something which some people continue to struggle with into adulthood. I know I still am. I also think that you struggle more with it while you are trying to find a spouse/ boyfriend, etc because you are aiming to impress, while afterward you have accepted your style for what it is and are happy because it's not all about you anymore. Getting married or dating someone is like walking out the door and shifting your focus to others. It's not all about you anymore, but about the other person, and that's okay.
        I think we have to learn how to be alone, so that when we are with someone, we have something to smile about. But if we sit and wait to be the person we want to be when we finally find the person we are meant to be with forever we are cheating ourselves. We deserve to be us before we are become someone's other half. Dating helps us figure out who that person is, but I don't believe that we can be very comfortable dating if we don't know  and LOVE ourselves well enough. I love being me!